“The opposite of paradox is polarity”, Esther Perel
Imagine you have got a job that you love and care about. You work hard and do your best to perform at your best and always walk the extra mile. Even when you know that you delivered 100%, should the appraisal period come - do you worry about the outcomes and ratings you will get?
Or what if there is a challenging relationship into which you have invested a lot of energy. You have done all you could to keep it going, but now the ball is on the other side. Would you be able to relax waiting for the other person to get back to you? Would you be able to enjoy your life now, while you want for this to work out with all your heart?
Polarity is when we choose one or the other: let go and not care, or persevere and strive, want and desire. The dualism of black and white, good and bad, love and hate is what got humanity into a lot of trouble in the first place.
In yoga, though, we master the skill of living in the paradox. And in yogic terms, this paradox is called “Abhyasa and Vairagya”.
Abhyasa is practice. Vairagya - detachment. Together, they create this interesting dance of calm and persevering effort, surrendering from the outcomes and goals. When you give 100% of yourself to your work, however, the appraisals won’t affect your self-esteem and what you think of your efforts.
It’s when you can let go of a person in your heart but continue to love them deeply. When you know that your partner needs to change some of their habits, it will allow them the time they need to awaken and see this for themselves.
When we give while not expecting anything in return, it’s about leaving a place better than you found it even though you will never meet the host again or get a review from them.
I absolutely love this concept of humble impeccability. It’s been guiding my yoga teaching journey all this time and continues to inspire me every step of the way.